Your Heart Will Always Have A Home
by ShadowSouls984
Summary: "There was something between the two of us … there still is something between us! There has to be … I couldn't stand it if she would hate me now … I couldn't live with that… I have to fix it … now ..."
1. Intro

My first FF starts at the end of 2x01 after Damon killed Jeremy. After I was totally stunned by "The Return" I was quite disappointed by "Brave New World". What did Damon think after he killed Jeremy? What did Elena think might be the real reason Damon snapped her brothers neck from one second to another? And what did Stefan think about all this?

Besides everything that was left out in the show I think there is definitely way too little Delena! How often did I imagine after the end of an episode how awesome the story of the two can go on and in the end it turned out totally different – most of the time it ended with a lot Stelena. . the end of Brave New World when Elena lies in bed and a hand strokes softly over her cheek. Which Delena fan did not hope desperately that it would be Damon? ;)

So I thought that some changing's have to be done! I will take Season 2 as a basis and will change everything like I imagined it would be like. It will be difficult with some episodes/scenes cause I don't wanna change the main story line but I will try to change the dialogues and of course I will add the thoughts of the person who's telling the story.

The chapters will be alternately told from the POV of Damon, Elena, Stefan and later I'll add some Katherine chapters, too. I will add a You Tube link here and there for special songs I think fit perfectly to the particular scene and inspired me while writing the chapter.

I hope you won't have problems with my English and please be nice! I'm from Germany and I m not a professional in writing English – I m just using my school English and what I learn while writing on You Tube and chatting with my best friend.

The whole idea of the story is from me and my best friend and we started the story together even if I m doing most of the writing now but she definitely deserves honor for that, too ;)

Okay, I think I talked enough now. I hope you enjoy my FF and I would love to get some feedback, especially cause I wasn't sure with some scenes (if it might be too much repetition).

xxx Franzi

I'm not a perfect person

There's many things I wish I didn't do

But I continue learning

I never meant to do those things to you

I'm sorry that I hurt you

It's something I must live with everyday

And all the pain I put you through

I wish that I could take it all away

And be the one who catches all your tears

I've found a reason for me

To change who I used to be

A reason to start over new

And the reason is You

I've found a reason to show

A side of me you didn't know

A reason for all that I do

And the reason is you

~ The Reason (Hoobastank/Westlife)


	2. Remorse  Damon

Lifehouse - Whatever it takes .com/watch?v=LNeF5cgrpp8

(Please listen to the original song, I can only add the link to the live version cuz of copyright)

Damn, what did I do? Did I really kill Jeremy … with Anna's blood in his system? Did I make Elena's worst nightmare come true and turned her brother into a vampire? Great work Damon that was really clever. And what's most important - now you made the only person who probably really cares about you at least a tiny little bit hate you. I shouldn't have done that. But anyway, why should I care after all? She loves Stefan. How could I think that she can really feel something for me? I was so wrong about that. I can't believe that I seriously had some stupid hopes about us. Even if she had some feelings for me I destroyed everything now. How could I lost my control that much! She will never forgive me... Her sentence ... it was the sentence she said to me that killed me... "It will always gonna be Stefan"... The same thing Katherine told me only hours before ...So in the end they are not different in all ways ... they share their love for Stefan ... what irony …  
Katherine – this bitch! I can't blame her for what happened … it is all my fault … but nevertheless … this damn arrogant selfish bitch! How could I ever have loved her? I have never given up the hope that she won't be dead! I searched for her for more than 154 years! 154 years! All the pain all these years … the pain of having lost her and perhaps never be able to get her back … 154 years I have missed her, have still loved her! Even after I found out that she has never been in this damn tomb and always knew where I was! And then after so many years, when I was ready to give her up, she comes back to destroy everything! How could I fall into her trap again? Why did I never recognize that all of her kisses, every single word were a lie! This words … they hit me directly into my heart … "It has always been Stefan"…IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN STEFAN! He never loved her! And still she wants him! I'm such an idiot … I should have known from the very beginning that Katherine only loves what she can't get! I was too easy to get for her! I was no fun! And then she comes to the manor, pretending to want me back, kissing me, only to destroy me completely with her words … when I will ever see her again … I … I … will definitely KILL her!  
But damn! That doesn't apologize for what I did! I shouldn't have gotten drunk, I shouldn't have visited Elena … and damn I shouldn't have killed Jeremy… but I needed to know the truth, needed to know that she cares more about me than she pretends to … "I'm surprised that you'd thought that I would kiss you back" … Have I been so wrong? Have I been so wrong about her feelings for me? Is she just like Katherine pretending to care? Damon! Stop thinking such nonsense! Elena is not Katherine … she has nothing in common with this bitch … except her weakness for Stefan … What has that been in Georgia between us? We had such a great day, I have never felt happier in my life than with her at my side in this bar … watching how she drinks one drink after another, still pretending not to be drunk and actually being totally … she was so sweet when she was drunk! And then she safed my life … And then all these problems with Stefan drinking human blood … I was always beside her, always there to help her … when she was standing in the rain totally desperate how she can save Stefan, when we both imprisoned him in the cellar and then the dance … this dance! I will never forget this dance… when she was walking down the stairs in her beautiful blue dress and I took her hand … when we were dancing and I looked into her eyes and she back into mine … There was something between the two of us … there still is something between us! There has to be … I couldn't stand it if she would hate me now … I couldn't live with that… I have to fix it … now.

As fast as possible I ran back to the Gilbert house. I was so stupid! Why the hell did I even leave? Leave her alone in such a moment! Her brother dead in her arms! I'm such a coward … I couldn't stand the way she looked at me anymore. When I was standing in the door and she fall to the ground with this heart breaking "Noooo", tears shining in her eyes …. And then her look, the look that hit me deep in my heart. The last time I saw this look was when I killed Vicky. Just that it was 100 times worse this time … the only thing is saw was pure hatred. Hatred and betrayal. She believed in me. She never gave up the hope that there was something left inside of me, something human, a part that cares about other people. And I could see that in her eyes. And what I saw in that moment would have caused my heart to stop beating if it wouldn't have been already silent since so many years. All the trust she had in me, all the hope that I was a lot more human than I pretend to be, were destroyed in this short moment. Her eyes only reflected her pure hatred. I was stumbling out the door, turning around as fast as I could. I couldn't have stand this look only one more second … I would probably have taken a stake myself and stabbed it into my dead heart.  
I walked through the forest, asking me all the time - how could I hurt her so much? And leave her alone with her dead brother in her arms … I'm so sorry, Elena ….

From the distance I could already see that there was still light in the house of the Gilberts. Am I doing the right thing? Is it that clever to return? To apologize? Don't be such an idiot, Damon. You can apologize as much as you want, as simple apologize won't fix what you destroyed in seconds. Nevertheless I have to try. I have to be there for her as I was in so many situations already.  
I wanted to knock at the door but I decided to enter the house without an invitation. She would slam the door in my face, she wouldn't want to see me. And I'm not eager to destroy their entrance to get into the house, And I m pretty sure it wouldn't help the situation much. It is already enough to have one of the owners hate me and I don't want Jenna to hate me even more than she already does.  
When I walked silently up the stairs I could hear voices out of her room … "He saw the ring that's why he did it." Stefan's voice. Sure, how could I believe that she wouldn't call my brother immediately? But what ring? Could it be possible … no no nooo … can I be that lucky that…? Johnathan left town this afternoon. But all I got to know from him is that he is an arrogant asshole who only cares about himself! Why should he gave the ring who protects him from everything supernatural to his nephew? Maybe he cared more than I expected him to…  
"He didn't see the ring. " Elena. Only her voice let me shiver immediately. And my heart would have beaten 10 times faster if it wouldn't be dead. "It is Katherine. She got under his skin. She undid everything that was good about him." Brother, you surprise me! He might understand me better than I thought. But you are wrong! You are so wrong! I overreacted and it was because of Katherine but please Elena … "There is nothing good about him. Stefan, not anymore. He has decided what he wants. He doesn't want to feel. He wants to be hated. It's just easier that way. He got his wish. I hate him Stefan." I froze immediately. This must be a damn bad nightmare. I have to awake immediately. I will awake and be the old Damon. Having fun teasing Stefan for his "I prefer rabbits instead of lovely girls". I will go to the Gilbert's. Elena will open the door. Looking at me with a smile on her face. We will tease each other as always, never being too serious. But it didn't happen. I didn't awake. I don't know how long I stood there, unable to move. Her words still echoing in my head "I hate him, Stefan. I hate him… I hate him …." I felt as if the world would crash down. There was nothing but darkness, only her words haunting me. And the shocking truth: Nothing, absolutely nothing, will ever fix what I did to her. She will hate me … forever. I turned around and left the house as fast as possible, otherwise I would have screamed. The last thing I heard was the gasp of Jeremy returning to life.


End file.
